As the time passed by I’ve realized that I might be a “Drama-Queen”; I can’t live without a problem.
Everything in my life seemed to be great; love, friends, university, family, what else I could ask for? That was the thing that worried me a lot, everything was too perfect and perfection means problems are on their way! I knew something bad was bound to happen… When I told Geral -my best friend- about my worries she just told me that I needed to enjoy and relax a bit, her last pronounced words were: ‘what can go wrong?’ That was my problem, was love, family or health about to go wrong?
I stopped with those stupid ideas, and I decided to take my friend advice, which even though it was a cliché, It was the true. I was so excited about my host-danish-sister (Ellie) and her boyfriend (Greg) visit here in Argentina; She was a member of my first host-family while I was in Denmark doing my exchange year. They were staying at my apartment for three weeks or something. We were having a really good time together and I was happy to speak english and Danish again, as in Argentina almost nobody speaks a foreign language and of course because I’m studying languages. Going back to the facts, My lover – who I will name him Chris – was excited about meeting them, he is very smart and he has travelled a lot too so it was going to be fun. That night he came home and we drove to the fancier ice-cream shop from the city. I could finally feel more confident about out relationship when he started to show his affection for me; but at the same time how bad does it feel when you are hanging out with friends and some of them start to show their love and one doesn’t know what to do and just feel lonely. For that reason I tried to do or say something else every time he did something “sweet”. It was getting to late and we had a lot of things for doing next day, so we left the place. After I gave the keys to the guys I stayed out with Chris, we were totally in the sex-mood, and it was great!
After that night I could said to myself that there was nothing to be worried about.
Everything started to change in our next meeting, which was at my place. Chris arrived very late that day. I went down stairs to open the door, when suddenly I felt vulnerable as I saw he with his new hair-cut, which by the way I was the one who had asked to do it in that way. We were going up stairs and he was weird, he barely talked to me, and I said:
ME: You look beautiful like that (I’m not the kind of girl who expresses her feelings loud, or made a compliment face to face, because I think words must be together with actions, otherwise they are not worthy) CHRIS: Thanks, It’s the first compliment I’ve got this week
MY HEAD: What? First compliment of the week? So that means that you usually get compliments from other people ? other girls? OMG he is dating someone else?
That real “bad thing” took place inside my apartment when my jealousy could be felt from hundred of meters away. He sat next Ellie and they started to talk about a place in Nepal, because he was considering travelling there and Ellie had been there. I felt so angry, well, jealous, but I wondered why? Ellie had her boyfriend and so did I, actually Chris and I had never talked about “define the relationship” but there was a “we”, I mean I’d met his family, I went to his place hundred of times, and we had been together for eight months. The fact is that I couldn’t stand the situation anymore, I tried to smile but I was being left behind. They talked the entire night, while Greg and I we were in another party, every time I tried to say something to him he would say ‘yeah, okay, hold on babe’ which made me feel worst. He noticed my long face, and he asked me if something was wrong, and I chose to answer with the typical expression of a woman: ‘nothing, nothing, just tired’
Later, we left the place and I stayed with him out at my door. I wanted him to stay longer but he didn’t, the sexual rejection made it worse (I know he worked all day, but he always had time for sex), I was f*** pissed! He didn’t even care that I was going back to my home-town next day and who knew when I was coming back. I saw myself at the bottom of the ocean when they were planning a sunday-camp in front of me and none of them even bothered to say ‘too bad you can’t come’ or ‘why don’t you stay’ NOTHING. I wanted to cry; I needed my space, which it is impossible when you live in a studio-apartment.
As nothing new, I had to make a hard and unexpected decision: a) Stay and say that I couldn’t get a ticket for that date as we were three days from Christmas and that all tickets has been sold, so that I could go with them to this camp; b) Be proud, calm myself a bit; trust in my lover and go home as I had planned….
TO BE CONTINUED.
PD: SORRY IF I HAVE GRAMMAR MISTAKES; PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I DO.