It has been a long time since my last post, time passes by so quickly. Anyway, in this post I would like to sum up some of the moments we´ve been through after the post “Facing the authorities”:
- We got the Visa Extention but it was only for three months, we didn´t know what to do next: a job wasn´t an option since Tom had to finish his thesis. We thought on inscribing on some curse to get a Student Visa, but it went all bad, and for many reasons, I don´t want to talk about it was really complicated. The point is that with some help we got a third party to sign the application form in order to get the criminal records of my boyfriend (which is required to get any type of Visa).
- For almost two years I was part of a group, which we met from time to time to eat or go out. The problem was that it changed and there were some new people that loved to get involved in some of the members´ lives, especially in their relationships. After meeting so many times and being “judged” somehow, I lost my patience, it really pissed me off. It got to a point in which Tom and I ended up fighting, and to top it all off none of the people that told us how to manage certain situations when it comes to a relationship, was actually in a relationship or lived with someone. About this, we decided not to go anymore because at the end we didn´t enjoy at all and we ended up fighting afterward.
- After going around and around with Tom´s visa, we decided to GET MARRIED. What brought us to this decision? Well, we love each other, we had already spent time living together, we had been through so many things and yet, we were there for each other, and the only reason Tom was in my country was the relationship we built together. Getting married was the best way of actually showing how much we wanted this, how far we were willing to go in order to be in the same place, at the same time next to each other.
- We didn´t make a big deal about our marriage. It was the examination period at University, my boyfriend was working on his thesis, so we wanted something calm and to be with the closest ones. The next step was telling our families: Tom´s family was easy they were happy, but my family was the hardest one. My mom was totally fine with it but my dad didn´t want to be involved in anything related to our decision, he said he only cared about my studies and that I was too young for it. Even though it hurt me, I respected his decision of not coming to the ceremony.
- As I said in previous posts, I live together with my brother, my dog and my husband (now). The relationship between us was never okay. We have big differences when it comes to living together. Tom and I take care of the responsibilities in the apartment. We make sure everything is paid, that we have food and other important stuff. Whereas my brother only plays video games, study, and he dirts everything in the house. I used to cook for him but I got tired of it since everytime I asked him to do something he complained or answered in a bad way. So far it went that when I wasn’t home he didn´t eat, and he even got mad afterward (or he said he was hungry and he asked me why I didn´t cook or leave food for him to eat)
- The situation got worse, we tried everything we could to make it work: we tried talking, screaming at each other, but it was just a waste of time. This topic was one of the ones that stressed me the most, it still stresses me, but I try to handle it. In all the opportunities that I had to talk it out with my family, they told me to move out together with Tom and do my life. So after so long, we decided that the best thing we could do was to split ways and start our marrying life, but when we told my family about our final decision they got mad at me, so mad they got that they don´t even talk to me anymore. It hurt me big time, emotionally and physically. I always try to keep the bad things around me and I try to keep on going until I find a solution, but this time my method didn´t seem to be working. The stress inside of me was killing me, stains appeared on my body (on my breast to be specific), I had panic attacks and it disorientated me. I couldn’t focus on University at all or on the things I was supposed to care about.
- In the middle of this chaos, the family of my husband decided to travel because they missed Tom so much and as well they wanted to meet me, but let me tell you that nothing worked out the way we expected.